Big Night Out

I'm so excited, my mom's sis from Sydney arrived yesterday and I went to my aunt and uncle's house today for dinner. All 10 of us including my little cousin were there. It's the first time I'm seeing them in more than 6 months. My cousin was so cute. She's 4 and she kept hugging me and telling me that she missed me. Anyway, dinner was fabulous and my two uncle2 and I were going through our ritual of teasing each other and throwing insults back and forth. The minute they realized that I was in the school choir they made me sing a song. It was hilarious how they were preparing insults to fling at me but they were silent by the time I'd finished. It was fantastic. According to them they knew I could sing, just not "this well." Well, the rest of the night passed smoothly enough and I left at around 10:45 p.m. I'm not feeling too good today so I'm going to bed early and I'm planning to go in late tomorrow. Woohoo! I get to sleep in. :) Well, an extra hour is still an extra hour.

Does God Exist?

Here's a little something I found some time back. It is most certainly worth the read. ;)

A man went to a barbershop to have his haircut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began towork, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on thesubject of God, the barber said ' I don't believe that God exists.' ' Why do you say that?' asked the customer.
' Well, you just have to go out in the streets to realise that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things. '
The customer thought for a moment but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
Just after he left the shop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the shop again and he said to the barber, ' You know what? Barbers don't exist. ' ' How can you say that? ' asked the surprised barber. ' I'm here, and I'm a barber, and I just worked on you.' ' No! ' the customer exclaimed. ' Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.
''Ah, but barbers DO exist!' answered the barber. ' What happens is, people don't come to me.' ' Exactly!' affirmed the customer. ' That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens is people don't go to Him and don't look for Him.

All You Get From Love is a Love Song

I'm going to be singing a song for my parents at their 25th wedding anniversary in December this year and I need to pick a song. Here's a list of what I was considering. Any input is greatly appreciated. By that I mean comments, or even suggestions for songs. Sadly, this is all I've been able to come up with at the moment. I'm looking at songs that my parents are sure to love and something that seems appropriate and that rules out a lot of songs.

Those Good Old Dreams - The Carpernters
Only Yesterday - The Carpenters
Close To You - The Carpenters
The Look of Love - Diana Krall
L-O-V-E - Nat "King" Cole
Have I Told You Lately - Rod Stewart
Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra

All Around

It just seems to me that I have so much love to give away recently but hardly any for myself. I find it so easy to love others and I am always compelled to hug my closest friends but I can't seem to love myself as much as I should. I will admit that I am a lot better now than I was last year but it's a daily struggle to look in the mirror and tell myself that I'm beautiful and lovable. It helps to know that I have a heavenly Father who loves me but at the same time I found that I also needed love from people around me. Thank God, He knows what He is doing with our lives. I have a friend in school named Nathan and he is an absoloute cuddle bunny. And that is what we call each other, oddly enough. He's like a younger brother to me and apart from encouraging me, he makes it a point to hug me at least 10 times a day in school. I gave him advice regarding issues he has been having with his spiritual life and his liking a girl in school and in return he has been doing more for me than I can ever say. Friends like him and Rie and David make it that much easier to get through the week. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed it just helps to know that I have them. God puts people in our lives for a reason, don't take anyone for granted. Last night I was at Rie's place and I kept thanking God for her and David and I kept thinking how blessed I am that my parents are alive and well. I am so blessed that I have even lived to 17 without any major health complications.

Just to be able to walk, talk, breathe, it's amazing. Sometimes we're so busy going about our lives that we forget to stop and stand. Just stand. Look around you. Take a deep breath. Forget all your problems for a minute and thank God for life. If you listen carefully, you'll hear God's music in everything. God is everywhere of only we choose to see Him. Don't believe me? Look at a rose. Perfectly soft petals all shaped to fit perfectly together. Smell it. Can a human make anything quite as wonderful? It's God. Sunsets are like God throwing His arms open and embracing the Earth. Sunrises are like a gentle kiss to wake the world. How much do we take for granted? Simple things fascinate me so bear with me a while. Think about water. It's not quite a solid and yet not quite air either. Ever thought how amazing it is? It's there and yet you can't quite grasp it. It's just one of God's amazing miracles. Now that I've finished rambling I ask one thing of you - stop and stand just for a moment and take in the world. Drink it all in and see God. He's everywhere and we are so blessed that He is.

Friends, Fiends and My Soulmate

These are my friends at Alana's 16th birthday party. May I introduce to you Alana and Jess. At least I think that's Jess. The lighting was bad and pardon my stating the obvious.

This is Emma at Alana's party in her classic pose. Emma models home-made striped arm thingies and numerous spikes. I love those things.

This one is of Emma at free dress day and, yes, she almost always poses like that. :)

Now for the fiend. This is my dear school mate David Jones. Poor bloke having to be called that. U cannot stress the number of people who sang the jingle thing on the first day of school. (If you don't know David Jones is also the name of a department store.) David is seen here reading a book very fitting to his personality. Go figure. That's all I'm saying.

Now for my soulmate. This is my childhood friend and bestest buddy Benjy. Apart from God he is the only one who never lets me down. He never puts me down and he never judges me. Only problem is he can't speak or give hugs either. Ah well that's life innit? Gotta admit he's kinda cute when you ignore the fraying threads. ;)

It's Just Me, Myself and I

Some photos of me dear self taken recently. Not ver flattering but they're okay. I have got to get some random to help me take some better ones.

Here's a sure eign of my age...A Troll doll from when I was a kid. Okay so its not me but I'm just as cute. Right? I'll shut up now...

This is me on the day of the school sports carnival. Be glad that you can't see the rest of my outfit. I might wear it again some day though. In case you haven't figured out by now, I'm in the purple house

ooh this is me and my soft toy dog Benjy. I've had him as long as I can remember and then some. I think my parents bought him for me when I was a year old or something. He's been with me to every place I've ever travelled to except Adelaide. I had to leave him home to save myself from certain embarrassment. (It was a school exchange programme for the Drama Club members.)

This is me at my friend Alana's 16th birthday. Not the best I have of me but its passable.

Art Attack

I finally uploaded the photos of some of my scribbles and yes, that brown canvas is really my hand...

Today's scribbles on my left hand during maths. I was bored and I'd finished all 53 questions and 13 extra ones. I deserved a break wouldn't you agree?

My Earth Fairy...

Crazy isn't it? This took me a month to finish.

This one is actually the lyrics from the first verse of 'Drive' by Incubus. "Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear. And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer." Okay, okay I got one word wrong! So sue me...lol

Second Nature

It's amazing how I seem to make friends so easily. I never used to be like this but I realised recently that I'm turning into my mother. I'm becoming the social butterfly she's always been and to an extent I guess its because this is a trait if hers that I've always admired with all my heart. Being quite introverted as a young teen I looked at my party-animal of a mother with contempt and was at times annoyed when she was too loud. Recently a leader from church hosted a dinner for all the Asians and I could hardly believe the number of people I went and spoke to. I made so many friends that night and I guess it helps that I love making people smile, if not laugh. I think I'd better get to the point or I'll be rambling here forever.

Since I moved to Kinross and started taking the bus when coming home from school I've been seeing a young Chinese girl who takes the same bus. I never once stopped to talk to her and she returned my smiles without a word as well. Since this Monday however, I have begun taking the bus to school in the mornings and she was with me on the bus. When I saw her on Tuesday, I decided that it was time I said a proper hello. Her name is Poline (I double-checked the spelling) and she is currently in ECU. When I asked her where she was from she replied that she was from Singapore. Yes, Singapore. And she refused to believe that I was as well. She thought I sounded too foreign. Like I always say, I can't seem to define my accent. Anyone who can earns my sincere thanks. Anyway, we talked and it turns out that her homestay mother is a teacher from my school who is currently on maternity leave. What a small world. Yet again another God-incidence. I talked to her about church and if I see her again I might invite her down. She's 20 and is really sweet. Its just amazing how God puts people in my life. I knew there was a reason God wanted me in Perth and now I see that its to reach out to the Asian students who are so alone that they are very receptive to Christ's love. Imagine that. I had to come all this way to reach out to people from my own country. Sort of an odd twist to being a missionary. Nevertheless I can't help but thank God for opportunities to make a difference.

What's In A Name

I was talking to my friend Fiona's mother on Sunday and we were chatting about names and how parents name their children. She said that with her own children she was able to feel what she should name then while she was still pregnant. This sort of goes with my personal belief that we all tend to grow into our names. Don't take my word for it. Next time you're speaking to someone, try to picture calling them by some other name and you'll find that its difficult to attatch another name to them. There are the rare exceptions to this and I have met a few people who just don't suit their names. This is possibly the only reason why I have not changed my name despite my lack of regard for it. Far from having to accept that I can't be anything other than a 'Marian' I also treasure the fact that my grandfather named me. What a gift to give your children really. Heritage in a name. It gives them an identity and shaped who they will become. That's true with me as well because my mother wanted to name me Abigail, but upon discovering that it meant storm she promptly changed her mind. There was no way she wanted a stormy personality in the house. I'm not exactly tame but I'm bold enough to suit my name. Here are some of the definitions I found listed for my name.


Marian (Of Mary) : Latin

Very much the individual you have enormous energy and vision and must find a suitable use for your talents. You have great potential for success in business if you can guard against indecision and worry. Your generous nature means that you are never short of friends and with cooperation your relationships can be very rewarding. Perseverance and firm decision making will ensure you achieve your objectives.

MARIAN: English form of French Marion, "bitter."

I've had some names that I myself have been rather fond of but I doubt my future children will be pleased if I were to bestow these names upon them. Among my favourites are Matthias, MAximilian and Anastasia. Anastasia is Greek for 'resurrection,' Maximilian is Latin for great. Matthias, however, is my favourite but is Greek for God's gift to women. I hardly think I'd like to have my son named that then. Well, maybe if its right at the time ,who knows. Oddly enough the name Lucille was been on my heart the day I was looking up the meanings. Lucille is French for light. I can't imagine what it means but lately I've been getting the distinct feeling that the first child I ever have will be a girl and that I will name her Lucille. Only time will tell. I am getting rather fond of that name. It grows on you. But it really is like what Fiona's mom said, you will get a sense of who the child is going to be and you will end up naming it based on that personality. Thank God I have a long way to go but I just thought I'd share that little bit of randomness from my little mind...

With Open Arms and Open Eyes

Last Thursday I was up very, very late working on a school addignment that I'd decided to re-do. I was about half way through my History research paper and I decided I wanted to improve on it. The only problem was that I got almost no sleep as a consequence and I was walking around like a zombie on Friday. To add to my woes, I was on choir that evening in church. I was standing on stage just before the lights came on and I was crying out to God for strength. Let me tell you firsthand that when you reach out to God, you take one step and He meets you the rest of the way. It wasn't immediate but it happenned. I was sort of toning down my praise to match the others but my director called my name and told me to be energetic so I rested on God's grace. I could actually feel something in me shift. It was shocking. I felt like a different person altogether. Wordhip was even better. I just couldn't help but thank God over and over again for His strength. It was amazing. When I was chatting with my friends so many of them told me I looked lovely and one said I looked like an angel on stage. Now if that wasn't God they saw, they were looking at the wrong person. When you rely on God for every breath you take and He is your everything, people can see that and identify. Be doers of the Word. Live the Word before you preach it. People judge you by your actions before they judge you based on what you have to say. Christianity is a personal experience with God. If people can get a personal experience of God through your love and actions, that's more powerful than preaching to them. That comes later.

Apart from keeping your arms open in total surrender to God, you need to watch and pray.

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
Matthew 26:41

Jesus calls his disciples to be aware of their surroundings. To be aware of possible dangers to their faith. But apart from that, He is calling us as His disciples to watch and pray. Watch. Look around you all the time. Christians should read the newspapers and be updated regarding current affairs. Why? To watch and pray. Watch what happens in the world and pray about it. Pray for those who need it. If we were to remain praying for our own little lives and our own small circle, we'd run out of things to pray for. Apart from thanking God, pray for all those around the world who need Him. Christians keep your eyes open! Watch and pray.

On a lighter note, my mom has said that I can be her bride's maid at the anniversary in December. I am so excited. I remember dreaming about it years ago. ; ) Glad its finally happenning. Mom, Dad and I seem yo have severely conflicting ideas about how this wedding should be. Nevertheless I'm sure we'll come to some sort of agreement soon. I'm beginning to miss Rie and David. Haven't seen them much this week, if at all. On a happier note my dear team leader gave me the night off pack-down in church on Friday, insisting I go home and rest. Well if he must know, I got way too much rest on Saturday. This is Maid Marian signing off for the night. More updates soonz!

Back Seat Driving

Just a quick thought on today's message before I go on to other things. Visiting Pastor J. John preached about the meaning of Christianity and what really convicted was the fact that he was talking about the car that is our spiritual life. I've heard it all before but God knows i needed to hear it again. Is God in the boot of your car? Do you only take Him out for a happy hour on Sunday? Or is He in the backseat, having to go where you decide to go and blow the consequences? Or is He in the driver's seat of your life? Are you being a backseat driver, telling God what to do? When He takes a left turn down Forgiveness Lane do you turn and say, "But I don't want tot go down this road." Do you try to question and contest God or do you let Him have free reign of your life? Let God be your driver. Let Him have control. The road map of your life is the Bible and only He knows how to read it right. We see the words but not always the true motive behind them. God knows all. Who do we put our trust in? The almighty being who created everything the eye can see and more? Or do we trust in oir own imperfect judgement? Our lives will never go in the right direction until we let God have complete control. On top of this revelation, I've been listening to the song "Drive" by Incubus all week. God really plans these things well, doesn't He?

Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I cant help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear
Take the wheel and steerIt's driven me before,
It seems to have a vague
Haunting mass appeal

I disagree with the chorus though. We can't make it if we drive our own lives. So ask yourself will you choose "water over wine"? Choose to let God drive you, not circumstances, not other people, and not yourself. And whatever tomorrow brings God will be there.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Center Stage

I just got home from my performance in school. "Create 05." Catchy title innit? It was a showcase of all the various areas of the Arts Department in our school. We had the different bands, the barbershop quartets, choir, a couple of monologues by the year 12 drama students and a fashion show by the fashion and design students. I was in the waiting room pretty much the entire night so I can only judge based on what I saw at the rehearsal yesterday. As far as I'm concerned, everyone was amazing. I was the emcee for the fashion show. I only got the finalised script this morning and I was supposed to have run through it with my drama teacher during class today but I went home sick so I had to go through it myself. I was representing the school radio 'DJs.' I use the term radio loosely here. What the radio crew really do is play music over the school system in the mornings and at lunch times. My cousin and I do the Tuesday morning shows.

The choir sang two songs - I Will Follow Him and Traces Of Faces, of which the latter was written by our director, Sandra Ayodele. I had a solo part on the opening verse of I Will Follow Him and I think I stuffed it up a bit. I simply had trouble breathing and holding my notes. Apparently I wasn't to bad though. At least that's what my principal and one of my teachers said. I am, however, quite pleased with my radio voice. That was so much fun, being able to play with my tone and sound all professional. Well, at least I tried to lol...

What I had not counted on was the fact that I'm still a bit sick from the fever I had last Friday. My mate Emma and I both went down to sick bay after first period and her mom picked up both of us and dropped me home. The embarrassing thing was that in the sick bay I started thinking about Sunday and the muffins I made for Fathers' day and I started missing my dad again. Lucky for me I had my face in a pillow so all Emma heard was my breathing. I am actually surprised how much more I miss my parents whenever I have a performance. So far I've only had two people attend any of my performances. My homestay mom came for my first play at the start of last term and my friend David from church came tonight. I was honestly surprised that he wanted to come at all. I only met this guy two weeks ago but I feel like I've known him all my life. Amazingly we attended the same church in Singapore and now we're in the same church here. Either way I doubt he'll ever realise how much it meant to me to be able to walk onto that stage knowing that there was someone sitting there who'd come to watch me. It was so encouraging to meet him after the show. Apart from getting a hug, it was just comforting to see a familiar face. So David if you're reading this, thanks heaps!!! :)

Fathers Be Good To Your Daughters

Happy Fathers' Day!!!

Its Fathers' Day today. At least it is in Perth lol. Since my own dear papa is so very far away, I decided to do something for the guys in church who've been father-figures to me in the absence of my own. I spent about three hours baking yesterday evening. And for the first time, I had help - my beloved Rie. She's such an angel and probably the first competent assisstant I've had in the kitchen. She had to leave early but I stayed up another couple of hours to finish making the cake and muffins. The cake was for my friends and mainly Rie. The chocolate muffins were for the guys in church. I had such a good time giving them out today. I gave one to my friend Pascal's dad and I got a hug and a peck on the cheek in return. In fact I got a lot of hugs for the muffins lol. Service was a bit of a challenge for me. Took me only a while to start crying in the first one. And I was sobbing st the end of the sacond one. Yet again, I got a lot of hugs. I feel so loved. To top it off I managed to talk to my dad when I got home so now I'm on cloud 9.

I have good news directly from my mom. My parents are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary in December of this year and they are going to renew their vows. So we're planning a wedding with a small reception for them and I'm making the cake. I've already planned out the dress for my mom and I'm coming up with ideas for deocrations, invitations and songs to play. I can't wait!!! At the moment that's all I know but I will certainly elaborate when I know more details.

Memories

Okay, so I haven't updated this thing in a while. I've been busy okay?! I have a life. Or at least I pretend to. Nah I'm kidding. I have been pretty busy. I think the best place to start would be with last weekend. On friday night I was in my friend, Rie's car on the way to church and I was crying out to God. I needed a miracle. I've been battling with a sore back more and more recently and I was honestly sick of not being able to even do the dishes for more than 20 minutes without it aching. Well here's the thin, we ended up spending the entire service praying and worshiping and right towards the end, pastor called for all those who wanted a miracle to come down. Mascara dripping, I went down to the front with a whole lot of others. (Hey I was on choir! I HAD to wear make-up!...lol) The pastors and leaders prayed for each of us individually. Now if anything, I ended up feeling worse. I could hardly sit still for a second from the pain. But this is where the events of Saturday come in.

On Saturday I went to help my friend as a waitress at his brother's wedding. It was so much fun. My best mate Rie was helping as well. To make a long story short, I was standing at the sink washing the dishes for at least two hours and I was on my feet from the time the wedding service ended until we left. I didn't even notice until I was on my way home that my back didn't hurt and hadn't hurt at all that day. Praise the Lord!!! Believe it or not, this was the first day in months that my back hadn't even been sore once. God really answers prayers. I've always believed it but more now than ever. To make my day even better, I think I managed to get on my friend's dad's good side. I just got the feeling that he didn't like me and my mates when he first met us but either way I reckon he likes some of us now. :) Thank God for that.