Wait to Date

I spent about an hour talking to a girlfriend of mine on the phone on Monday night. Basically we were chatting about relationships and what to do to prepare yourself as a woman of God. She came up with some really good points I'd like to share. I hope you can put up with my elaborations and general ramblings...

1. Seeking and loving God more
2. Prayer
3. Accountability
4. Purity
5. Patience
6. Self-control
7. Expecting challenges
8. Preparing the field
9. Friends
10. Resources and Scripture

You need to have an intimate relationship with God. Make sure that your focus is solely on Him. You have to love Him more than any human being. Don't allow yourself to be distracted and your thoughts to be consumed by something other than God. It's also crucial to surrender completely to God and make sure that anything that is not of Him is given to Him to handle. Run TO Him not from Him.

A good thing to do is to pray each time before talking or meeting the person. That way you invite God to be a part of the relationship. This way you acknowledge God's total control over the relationship. It is a large part of surrendering to Him. Also, commit your relationship and both of your lives to God in your quiet time.

Ooh...make sure that, especially in the early stages of the relationships, you always involve people you both trust in the relationship. Allowing for others you trust to be a part of your growing proces helps to draw and keep boundaries, making sure neither of you succumbs to the temptation to do anything you shouldn't do. Never be alone with the person unless it is very clear that you can trust yourselves to be alone. Reaching this stage takes time.

This leads us to purity. As I mentioned earlier, it is important to keep your thoughts, actions, body and words pure. Commit yourself entirely to God. A reminder to all my fellow princesses, make "pure" choices. You are VALUABLE!!! You are worth so much that Jesus gave His life for you. Don't throw away the grace that we live under. Remember your femininity. You are a beautiful creation and woman of God.

Patience is a virtue. Cliche, I know. But it is a very important component to a healthy relationship. "Waiting" for Mr. Right makes it so much more worth while when things do turn out. No one wants to jump into things and look back with regrets. Waiting frees you from insecurities. You become stronger and both of you will be more comfortable around each other simply because you understand each other better. Waiting means that you become friends before dating. Think of it this way, waiting to enter into a relationship is like cultivating a good wine. Time and what you put into it during that time makes all the difference to taste and value!

Self-control is important in actions, words and thoughts. Apart from committing yourself to God, there's one more thing - wait for his lead. It’s not worth it if you have to keep making the first move. Let him come to you. If the guy likes you enough, no matter how shy or insecure he is, he will take some sort of action to make sure he doesn’t lose you. Think of it this way, if you are the one taking action all the time, what would happen if you were to spend the rest of your life with him? You’d end up being the decision-maker in the relationship and God did not intend for women to take this position. But, really, let him come to you.

Expect challenges and testing. In fact, ask God to test your relationship. If you’re afraid to, you’re relationship is probably not very strong. Remember the potter and clay: the clay needs to go through the fire to come out stronger and more beautiful. I might elaborate on this one another time.

Let God prepare your heart. Make Him the gardener of your heart. Commit your life to Him and let him extract the weeds. Also, let Him sow good seeds into your life. Let Him help you to water them so that they bear fruit.

Friends are a cornerstone to your growth. While you cannot survive on the help of friends alone, God did not intend for anyone to be an island. If he had He wouldn’t have created women, would he? If you want to soar like an eagle don’t hang out with turkeys. You are a beautiful rose bush in God’s garden, with the potential to bear the most amazing blooms. Are you going to surround yourself with weeds? They would choke you and kill your spirit. The people you spend time with and make yourself vulnerable to can make the difference between you soaring like an eagle and remaining a turkey, destined to be someone’s dinner.
Last but not least, never, ever, forget the Word of God. Like how we read a manual to help us put together a new appliance, the Bile is God's manual to help us put together our lives. Ask God to show you scripture that you can meditate on. Apart from the Bible, saturate yourself with other resources and material from Christian tapes to books.